Hedonist

Who's not? Everyone is a hedonist. Human tend to seek for pleasure in everything they do. It's only a matter of whether they get that pleasure they are expecting in the end of it. But the fact is we plan for pleasure and hence hedonist.

Human are simply pleasure seeking machines. Why machines? Cause they are pre programmed that way, u can't change the fact. Yeah u can choose to control yourself, but deep down you want it and you need it so stop denying it anyway. And yeah, human can be as dumb seeking for pleasure even at the cost of their life. Believe it.

God is a mystery. Created pleasure seeking machines and creates pleasure mechanism which most of them turn out to be destructive and call them sin. Or maybe God did not create these pleasure mechanism, human did, but God created human with smart brain and give them the ability to create pleasure mechanisms which they somehow need it one way or another.

Used to remember everything u wanted

Used to remember every little thing u need

It used to be me yeah it was me

And u left that day saying u trust in Him

So softly as you barely make it through your tears

What can i give what can i ask more

How could i kill that faith you held so strong

Years passes by so quickly that i never notice

You came back now with the sins you commit

If He exist, why murder a girl who loved Him

Why take her and leave her in the darkness

Cried till she loose her voice as well as faith

Looking for an exit which doesn't exist

It is a mystery

I am a Hedonist. Hedonist i am.

Days pass by so quickly

And i just couldn't get the time to blog. So here's some updates..

Couldn't believe how fast time passes this semester, again, reaching the end of my 2nd year now, study week-a week of peace before the final tribulation.

Had a waterfall-venture somewhere in kampar last thursday-labour's day. Gayer's trip i would say. A bunch of guys rejuvenating after a whole semester of hard work and tedious schedule.

We hiked some, climbed some, passed by some orang asli ataps, looking for a nice spot, somewhere high with not to deep nor shallow water just enough for us to immerse ourselves in the cooling water.

Found ourselves a nice hideout where we'll later shampoo and soap ourselves and let the people down stream taste our dirt. Evil yeah? Would be going for another round of rejuvenation before final starts. Also, most of the pictures are in my friend's camera, so just bear with what i have here till i get them aite.

Also tasted some nice curry chicken wrapped in bread(min-bao-kai). The curry taste ordinary, but i really like the bread. Gonna taste the herbs chicken there next time.

And TAR college's new campus in kampar is magnificent. Nice academic buildings, the concept look quite the same with UTP's with glass windows and steels. Also surrounded with a big big lake. And best still, the lake connects till outside the campus, so couples can just make out there without the need to worry for disturbance from RM and pak gads.

Supposed to head back to KL after my last quiz on friday, but just couldn't miss Sincero Riverbank's opening. It's half surrounded by a man made river which somehow turn into longkang that night polluted with food and pukes. But again, the whole riverbank concept coupled with the wooden bar on its veranda is really refreshing , a nice place to chill but not club i would say.

N guess who i met there, bloody hell shocked. C if u can recognise the gal there on the most left.

She's bloody dancing on stage just for a bucket of beer? Amazed. N i was later dragged up the stage by her. If i drag her then bolehlah, but she dragged me up instead, can u believe it? haha.. 

Ended up bunked into aaron's house that night, had bout 2 hours of sleep, rushed back to UTP at 6am plus and straight to KL at 7. Crazily exhausting.

Headed straight to Maxis centre to settle some stuff with charmain, had lunch and was already 2 plus when i reached home finally. Thought i could catch some rest finally but my phone rang and i ended up chilling in the curve.

I finally slept at 2am that nite. N had my appointment with my soon to be boss in one u starbucks this morning which he FFK-ed after i waited there for half an hour. Said will come up to Ipoh on Tuesday and we can meet in parade, just hope he doesn't FFK me twice.

And finally, i'm back to where i started, UTP with everyone back home now since my exam is scheduled with huge gaps between papers that there's no need to stay over during study week.

Gotta study and work hard this week to catch up and make up for the week between exams which i'll be missing.

Markah x halal

I think i'm really screwed up this semester, however, i'm in an exeptional gush of luck i presume. Since i really did screw up almost about everything, but somehow things always turn out fine in the end one way or another.

Example 1, i screwed up my control test, late for half an hour and made some silly mistakes here n there, guess what? i got 94 for it, n it's markah x halal since i really made mistakes but just that i'm not sure why i still get marks for a wrong answer. Think i have a very kind lecturer yeah? Pretty screwed isn't it?

Example 2, got back my analogue test 2 today, screwed up the 1st question since i mistaken a bandpass filter for a bandstop filter(the total opposite). And guess what, i got 20/20 for that question still and a total of 70. Damn, markah x halal again.

Example 3, was totally late for one of my application, bout a month, yet, i was still accepted though i went through quite a lot of hassle for that. Still, crazily blessed i guess.

N there are a lot of other things that i messed up, but i'll keep that to myself anyway, n yeah, in the end, everything just turn out fine. I'm not sure if i should thank god for that or should feel guilty instead. But ultimately, i guess i should just do both.

On another matter, MSN n HOTMAIL seems to fail today, can't log in to both messenger n my hotmail. It's crucial for me since i'm expecting some important emails, hate utp for that. But yeah, looking on the bright side, my room get quite good reception for wifi connection and i actually have the privilege of enjoying fast internet connection almost everyday whereas most of my friends even those from the same block as me just couldn't login for whatever the reason being n they are left with LAN which all utpians know how sucky the internet connection can get with LAN.

Also, yeah, my phone reception, only my room has it. Go to any other rooms in my block, u don't even get a single bar of reception jokes aside. Can't even sms not to mention making phone calls. So, cheers even though i still get choppy conversation here and there at least i know i'm in a far better condition compared to many others. =)

Being blessed, i thank God for that.

Daylight Robbers

N so i was greeted by Mr.Sun this morning..

The sun just rose when i exit UTP gate to Jelapang for renewal of my passport. It took about 3 hours plus and i conclude that as high efficiency since well, it's Malaysia rite?

And on my way back, was trailing behind this truck, where at one point he slowed down and signaled left signalling for me to overtake, reflects took over, signaled right, cut out and whoops.. No, not accident, but there's two creature in uniform flagging me right on the spot. Caught in action, it's a double line.

After taking my IC n Licence, n the whole fake i'm-gonna-give-u-a-ticket talk, the conversation went like this:

Pak Hodoh: "Ini double line tau? kalau saman 300, lepas sebulan u gi rayuan, mungkin lepas diskaun 200. ok?"

Me: "jangan la boss. I ingat truck depan problem sbb dia signal nak masuk, bukan saje-saje nak overtake ni."

Pak Hodoh: "Eh.. x boleh..x boleh.. u ckp dgn office nanti bila rayu la. 200 boleh kot." den after pausing a while, he continued "ok?"(mcb!!)

So i peek into my wallet, n fuck, after paying 300 for the passport renewal, i'm left with only rm7, took out the rm7 look at him, "boleh x?"

Pak Hodoh:"ini 300 la, u ingat men2 ka? 7 ringgit mana cukop?"

I remember i kept some money in my car in case i forget my wallet, n so i searched, n shoot, only 4 bucks left.. So 4+7=11. I flashed that rm11 n gave him an innocent smile as best as i could. "10 ringgit boleh x?"

Pak Hodoh:"U tanya boss sana la, 10 cukop makan x?"

Me:"Boss, i student ma, betul tak ada lagi la. Ini saja yg ada."

Pak Hodoh:"Bawa siket je duit ni macam mana you nak balik nanti? Petrol sudah pam ke? Dah makan lom?"

Me:"Petrol ada, baru pam, la ni yang tinggal, boleh la?"

N many lines of conversation persuading him this is the only money left, which i'll omit here.. N finally,

Pak hodoh:"Okla, u student, i amek duit ni sebab u nak belanja eh? Jalan.."

Me:"okok, thank you a.. Sorry ye.."

Pak Hodoh:" perlahan-lahan ya.. jaga-jaga ye.."

Me:"ya ok ok.."

N fuck, i'm broke. fucking day light robbers squeeze even the very last drop of my money. DAMN YOU SHITHOLE!!

#1 Art of survival u gotta learn in malaysia-bribery n corruption!! It rocks!!

Those who shall not be named

To you:

Thanks for always being brutal with me, cruel to me, and ignoring me, but that will never wipe off the unconditional love u have for me. Yeah i know that. n i love you too.

To you:

You are probably the best tai ka che i've ever had, always there to listen, to accompany me, even when u r busy, yeah i know u r busy but i just can't help it. When i can't turn to anyone be it friends or family, u are the only one that i know i can turn to and yeah like u've said, i'm probably the bane of your existance. But yeah, glad to have you.

To you:

Between us are things that i never intended. If there's anything i can do to make up for it i would. Certainly. Just hoping for better days between us.

To you:

Though i never wanna admit, but yeah u've changed me lots in a very short time. I became everything i never want to be before. And now i basically skipped a level and currently at my very best and still going. Just makes me wonder. But well, things in this world work in a very miraculous way. And yeah it's a little insane too.

To you:

Till today, i guess we've fought more than we talk. But i'm glad we never drifted that far apart after all. Silly but true. Everything about you is home. Being with you is like being home n i guess i'm really lucky to have u included in this chaotic world of mine. Thanks for caring n everything n do noe that i care for u a dozen too. U r wonderful in a very intimidating way i would say. But u r just u, like how i can be myself with u, n i love that.

To you:

N you. I probably don't have to say anything here but well, i'll start. It's been so many fucking years now that i sometimes couldn't believe it. Really. You are always there and always always there. Like you've said, you can't live without me. I know it sounds corny, but yeah, neither can i. Funny but i just realised this, u r the reason that motivates me to be better. N u pick me up every single time i fall. Without you, i really dun wanna imagine how far i could have drifted away n how deep i could have sunk. N u r perhaps the only person that can bear with me for so long till today. Thanks.

On a side note, this just came in.