Here i am blogging again on my last nite of break... Time passes so fast, rmb when i came home on fri, saw my baby rover, my bed, n most of all, nice n tasty food... lots of them. N guess wut? The next thing i know, it's all over...
I brought my books back with me, as decoration though. Supposed to study but i didn't. As usual la i thought.
Started my last day with a happy mood n i thought it will last. But it doesn't. Everything was perfect till i did something foolish. I wonder sometimes, how pathetic things can be. How unusual it is a day for me to be happy for 24 hours...
Come to think of it, i just realise that being happy is totally different from being cheerful. I always thought that it is interchangable. Not that i don't understand it's meaning, just that i never put my mind into differentiating between these two. The thing is this, you need not be happy inside to be cheerful on the outside. N the most important part is that people love one who is cheerful. Yes. Even if u are unhappy! So sad but true, i'm one who's not cheerful enough i guess. Always on the down side. Sigh.. Trying to stay happy n cheerful though. Trying as hard as i can..
The worst thing is that i simply don't enjoy studying in UTP, TRONOH. Don't ask me why. You'll never wanna know. There's a million reasons to it and it will flood this blog page if i spell it out one by one. How can i be happy when i don't enjoy or more appropriately DISLIKE what i am doing? I know i'm blessed to get a place + a scholarship from petronas. I know i have no other choice. I know i have to strive my best and make full use of this opportunity. I know it's only for a few years time b4 i graduate. I know... But i just don't enjoy doing everything that i Know i have to... What am i suppose to do?
Every morning i wake up in U, i can't wait for the sun to set, and every night when i close my eyes, i just hope that i'll fall asleep asap so that i can cut one more day out from my countdown. Every beginning of sem, i'll be waiting for the end of sem to come. Everyday in U is merely a lifeless day to me. I do wut i am suppose to do to SURVIVE!! N the things that is supposed to do consists of many that i dislike n shudn't do. What can i do??
Lastly, i know that it is pointless for me complaining here. As if i have other alternatives. As if an angel will pop up suddenly and save me from all this shit. As if... But again, what more can i do other than throwing all these shit here? Maybe someone might read and agree with me, then i'll noe i'm not alone at least. How childish one can be when one is trapped in a helpless situation. How childish i am sometimes. I wonder...
Sunday, March 26, 2006
Thursday, March 23, 2006
在 你 心 中 有 这 样 的 一 个 人 吗
你们可能相爱过，你们也可能喜欢着彼此，
但是，为了什么原因你们没能在一起？
也许他为了朋友之间的义气，不能追你。
也许为了顾及家人的意见 ，你们没有在一起。
也许为了出国深造，他没有要你等他。
也许你们相遇太早，还不懂得珍惜对方。
也许你们相遇太晚，你们身边已经有了另一个人。
也许你回头太迟，对方已不再等待。
也许你们彼此在捉摸对方的心，而迟迟无法跨出界线。
不过即使你们没在一起，你们还是保持了朋友的关系。 但是你们心底清楚，对这个人，你比朋友还多了一份关心。 即使不能跟他名正言顺的牵着手逛街，你们还是可以做无所不谈的朋友。 他有喜欢的人，你口头上会帮他追，心里却不是很清楚你是不是真的希望他追到。
他遇到困难时，你会尽你所能的帮他，不会计较谁又欠了谁。 男女朋友吃醋了，你会安抚他们说你和他只是朋友，但你心中会有那么一丝的不确定。 每个人这辈子，心中都有过这么一个特别的朋友，很矛盾的行为。 一开始你不甘心只做朋友的，但久了，突然发现这样最好。
你宁愿这样关心他， 总好过你们在一起而有天会分手。
你宁愿做他的朋友，彼此不会吃醋，才可以真的无所不谈。
特别是这样，你还是知道，他永远会关心你的。 做不成男女朋友，当他那个特别的朋友，有什么不好呢？ 你心中的这个特别的朋友...? 是谁呢？
很多的感情，都因为一厢情愿，最后连朋友都当不成了，常常觉得惋惜， 可惜一些本来很好的友情，最后却因为对方的一句喜欢你， 如果你没有反应，这一段友情似乎也难以维持下去， 这也难怪有些人会因此不肯踏出这一步。
因为这就像是一场赌注，表白了之后不是成了男女朋友，要不就连朋友都当不成了。 有些事不是你能预料的，或许对方不在意，你们还可以是朋友，但却已经不如从前的好。也是可惜，也是遗憾! 但还有没有可能是另一种情况，你可能永远都不甘心只是朋友. . .
但是，为了什么原因你们没能在一起？
也许他为了朋友之间的义气，不能追你。
也许为了顾及家人的意见 ，你们没有在一起。
也许为了出国深造，他没有要你等他。
也许你们相遇太早，还不懂得珍惜对方。
也许你们相遇太晚，你们身边已经有了另一个人。
也许你回头太迟，对方已不再等待。
也许你们彼此在捉摸对方的心，而迟迟无法跨出界线。
不过即使你们没在一起，你们还是保持了朋友的关系。 但是你们心底清楚，对这个人，你比朋友还多了一份关心。 即使不能跟他名正言顺的牵着手逛街，你们还是可以做无所不谈的朋友。 他有喜欢的人，你口头上会帮他追，心里却不是很清楚你是不是真的希望他追到。
他遇到困难时，你会尽你所能的帮他，不会计较谁又欠了谁。 男女朋友吃醋了，你会安抚他们说你和他只是朋友，但你心中会有那么一丝的不确定。 每个人这辈子，心中都有过这么一个特别的朋友，很矛盾的行为。 一开始你不甘心只做朋友的，但久了，突然发现这样最好。
你宁愿这样关心他， 总好过你们在一起而有天会分手。
你宁愿做他的朋友，彼此不会吃醋，才可以真的无所不谈。
特别是这样，你还是知道，他永远会关心你的。 做不成男女朋友，当他那个特别的朋友，有什么不好呢？ 你心中的这个特别的朋友...? 是谁呢？
很多的感情，都因为一厢情愿，最后连朋友都当不成了，常常觉得惋惜， 可惜一些本来很好的友情，最后却因为对方的一句喜欢你， 如果你没有反应，这一段友情似乎也难以维持下去， 这也难怪有些人会因此不肯踏出这一步。
因为这就像是一场赌注，表白了之后不是成了男女朋友，要不就连朋友都当不成了。 有些事不是你能预料的，或许对方不在意，你们还可以是朋友，但却已经不如从前的好。也是可惜，也是遗憾! 但还有没有可能是另一种情况，你可能永远都不甘心只是朋友. . .
不想让你知道
忽然不想让你知道
在我心中你多重要
既然你要自由
你就得到
让你永远都记得我好
你的爱我已经戒不掉
就让思念淹没
我不想逃
反正你将永远不知道
今夜星光多美好
适合用寂寞去品调
我们曾用爱互相依靠
付出多少不用计较
想一个人多美好
就算只剩记忆可参考
被爱放逐到天涯海角
我的思念你不用都知道
直到有天你我年老
回忆随着白发风中闪耀
至少我清清楚楚知道
你若想起我会微笑
在我心中你多重要
既然你要自由
你就得到
让你永远都记得我好
你的爱我已经戒不掉
就让思念淹没
我不想逃
反正你将永远不知道
今夜星光多美好
适合用寂寞去品调
我们曾用爱互相依靠
付出多少不用计较
想一个人多美好
就算只剩记忆可参考
被爱放逐到天涯海角
我的思念你不用都知道
直到有天你我年老
回忆随着白发风中闪耀
至少我清清楚楚知道
你若想起我会微笑
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
It's WED!!
Just only realise that half of my break is gone...
Wondering what have i done in the pass few days, i couldn't think of anything. That's the problem you see, i couldn't remember myself doing anything contributing or productive at all. Promised myself to finish up my lab report. Also promised myself to study as to cover back the topics that i miss out as a consequence of "da gei" back in U. But as usual, i failed in doing all these as planned.
Worst of all, i just found out this morning that i even forgot to print the lab manual for my physics 3rd experiment. Wondering how am i going to finish up my report without that.
A friend of mine msged me today, got to know that she's been working hard on the ICIS assignment which i haven't even started at all. What a big contrast i thought.
If you come to think about it, the purpose of getting a laptop is to further assist me in my work and studies. However, it seems that things doesn't turn out that way. Starting from the 1st day of my 2nd sem, i've been using the laptop to : chat, watch movies, blog, dota, CS, friendster etc(no porno though.hehe..)...
What have i been doing I wonder...
How i wish that someone can "pop-up" once in a while to slap me right in the face and remind me to study. But that will never happen. Irresponsible and ignorant am I. Trying so hard to get away with my responsibilities.
I've come this far afterall, and i will never afford to loose track of my studies just for the sake of enjoying. 5 years is all i need. 5 years of concentration and hardwork. I believe all this will pay and is worth all the hardships. For a better future, I'll strive!!
Wondering what have i done in the pass few days, i couldn't think of anything. That's the problem you see, i couldn't remember myself doing anything contributing or productive at all. Promised myself to finish up my lab report. Also promised myself to study as to cover back the topics that i miss out as a consequence of "da gei" back in U. But as usual, i failed in doing all these as planned.
Worst of all, i just found out this morning that i even forgot to print the lab manual for my physics 3rd experiment. Wondering how am i going to finish up my report without that.
A friend of mine msged me today, got to know that she's been working hard on the ICIS assignment which i haven't even started at all. What a big contrast i thought.
If you come to think about it, the purpose of getting a laptop is to further assist me in my work and studies. However, it seems that things doesn't turn out that way. Starting from the 1st day of my 2nd sem, i've been using the laptop to : chat, watch movies, blog, dota, CS, friendster etc(no porno though.hehe..)...
What have i been doing I wonder...
How i wish that someone can "pop-up" once in a while to slap me right in the face and remind me to study. But that will never happen. Irresponsible and ignorant am I. Trying so hard to get away with my responsibilities.
I've come this far afterall, and i will never afford to loose track of my studies just for the sake of enjoying. 5 years is all i need. 5 years of concentration and hardwork. I believe all this will pay and is worth all the hardships. For a better future, I'll strive!!
Monday, March 20, 2006
The 1 repeating song to be listened at nite..
I was changing my msn tagline to this phrase:
"What to do when your whole world is being ripped apart."
when this song started playing in the background.. coincidence? It just makes me feel even blue..
Artist: Switchfoot
Album: Nothing Is Sound
Title: The Blues
Is this the New Year or just another night?
Is this the new fear or just another fright?
Is this the new tear or just another desperation?
Is this the finger or just another fist?
Is this the kingdom or just a hit n' miss?
A misdirection, most in all this desperation
Is this what they call freedom?
Is this what you call pain?
Is this what they call discontented fame?
It'll be a day like this one
When the world caves in
When the world caves in
When the world caves in
I'm singing this one like a broken piece of glass
From broken arms an' broken noses in the back
Is this the New Year or just another desperation?
You're pushing till you're shoving
You bend until you break
Till you stand on the broken fields where our fathers lay
It'll be a day like this one
When the world caves in
When the world caves in
When the world caves in
When the world caves in
When the world caves in
When the world caves in
There's nothing here worth saving,
Is no one here at all?
Is there any net left that could break our fall?
It'll be a day like this one
When the sky falls down and the hungry and poor and deserted are found
Are you discontented? Have you been pushing hard?
Have you been through and down this broken house of cards?
It'll be a day like this one
When the world caves in
When the world caves in
When the world caves in
Is there nothing left now?
Nothing left to sing
Are there any left to haven't kiss the enemy?
Is this the New Year or just another desperation?
Just as I could find you, do the wicked never lose?
Is there any honest song to sing besides these blues?
And nothing is okay
Till the world caves in
Till the world caves in
Till the world caves in
Till the world caves in
Till the world caves in
Until the world caves in
Until the world caves in
Until the world caves in
Until the world caves in
Until the world caves in
Until the world caves in
"What to do when your whole world is being ripped apart."
when this song started playing in the background.. coincidence? It just makes me feel even blue..
Artist: Switchfoot
Album: Nothing Is Sound
Title: The Blues
Is this the New Year or just another night?
Is this the new fear or just another fright?
Is this the new tear or just another desperation?
Is this the finger or just another fist?
Is this the kingdom or just a hit n' miss?
A misdirection, most in all this desperation
Is this what they call freedom?
Is this what you call pain?
Is this what they call discontented fame?
It'll be a day like this one
When the world caves in
When the world caves in
When the world caves in
I'm singing this one like a broken piece of glass
From broken arms an' broken noses in the back
Is this the New Year or just another desperation?
You're pushing till you're shoving
You bend until you break
Till you stand on the broken fields where our fathers lay
It'll be a day like this one
When the world caves in
When the world caves in
When the world caves in
When the world caves in
When the world caves in
When the world caves in
There's nothing here worth saving,
Is no one here at all?
Is there any net left that could break our fall?
It'll be a day like this one
When the sky falls down and the hungry and poor and deserted are found
Are you discontented? Have you been pushing hard?
Have you been through and down this broken house of cards?
It'll be a day like this one
When the world caves in
When the world caves in
When the world caves in
Is there nothing left now?
Nothing left to sing
Are there any left to haven't kiss the enemy?
Is this the New Year or just another desperation?
Just as I could find you, do the wicked never lose?
Is there any honest song to sing besides these blues?
And nothing is okay
Till the world caves in
Till the world caves in
Till the world caves in
Till the world caves in
Till the world caves in
Until the world caves in
Until the world caves in
Until the world caves in
Until the world caves in
Until the world caves in
Until the world caves in
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