Dinner with Dad

It means "The more the merrier!"

Always walk pass Itallianis when shopping, but never get to enter. Also, i used to work at VOIR just beside Itallianis for some time before this. Today, we finally dined inside.



It's me and Sis

Mom & Dad

N this is the lenglui waitress busy serving another table

Me again

Happy 50th Birthday Dad!!

A post dedicated to my daddy.

"It's my Birthday!!"Yummy!!Cake cutting! (bad camera angle i noe =p)Muacks!!
eagerly ripping the wrapperWah!! Seiko watch!!Proud boy posing with new watch!

Daddy, thank you for everything you've done for us throughout the years. Working so hard all these years not only to provide our financial needs and wants, also you never fail to show us your love, care and guidance all these while. Thank you for making me who i am today. I'm really proud to have a daddy like you.

And most of all,

Thank you for giving me this Wonderful family.

Happy Birthday Daddy!

My 4th basketball

Finally bought it the other day. Only Rm48, also the cheapest among the 4 i've ever own. Finally come to realise that basketballs won't last long. Supposedly, its to be shared among Les Ken n me. So its Rm16 per person after all. But if they decided not to share, then it's fine too. Cuz i can bring it back to uni next sem den.

Way to go, my 4th basketball..

Hanging out

Another night at 1st station with my buddy

黑涩灰白

想离开
不想逗留黑暗地带
你的爱
渴望却无法接待
有些话
不能说得太明白
很多事
后悔也无法重来

多想像个小孩
哭着耍赖
硬着头皮
对你说爱
不需理会
他的存在

星星的碎片
在你我之间
划开了一条线
似永远
更似终点

如果有一天
我不再对你想念
也许我会过得好一点

uncertainties

typed a lot.. but somehow i deleted it all..

feel so trap up.

i need a rest.. n need to really think..

Enjoying hols..

Lansi me-taken some time ago back in uni.

Posing at Fish n Co.

Love my sis!

I'm home!!

Dabo+dagei+yumcha+cheongk+movie+date!!!

come come who wanna go gai gai come find me!!

My cry..

Tonight's one of those nights. Nights when i got so tired and sick of everything that i'm doing. n everything that i'm not doing. Night's when i'll sit in front of my desk with books and papers nicely spread in front of me. Yet my eyes would be glued to the 15" screen ahead looking for something to read. I'll have The blues repeating itself on my media player. N every now and then, i'll rest on the desk with my arms cushioning my forehead.

I feel like quitting. even after 2 years being here, i'm still the same person who feel like running home right when i stepped into this place 2 years back. Not like i miss home or miss mama like some idiotic spoilt brat. But i just dislike this phase of my life now. Stuck in UTP and all. I miss life in KL. Miss the malls we have at home. Miss the people i meet in malls with just a simple-T, short pants and slippers but yet still look elegant. Miss the colorful street lamps that i used to stare at when dad drives us down to KL at night. Miss how the headlight of opposing cars shinie on you when you're driving along LDP. Miss the ngaulam mee stall beside balai polis. And hotdog stand in front of 7eleven. Miss the Nasilemak from pasar that i've been having since form 1? Miss the sundays that we'll have our breakfast in Anuja and attend church. Miss playing in church for worship. Miss shopping with sis, though she'll get so fedup with me cuz i don't choose my own clothes. Miss accompanying mom for mahjong. Miss chatting with dad on my parents bed while mom sleeps between us. Miss hanging around with my friends in mamaks. Miss playing football with rover. Miss basketball sessions with les and ken.

Though one of my friend used to say that i'm a spoilt brat. i never agree with her. All i can say is that i do have a very loving family. Parents who love me so much that at times my eyes will get teary thinking about it. Also, a sister who loves me a lot, many times more than herself i would say. I'm very fortunate to have a family like that. But still, i never thought of myself as a spoilt brat. Cuz dad used to discipline me a lot when i was young. When i was 7 or 8 i couldn't quite remember, he used to whip me with his belt. Once, i was whipped so badly by my dad(i think i did something really bad), sis even kneeled in front of him, begging him not to continue. N that day was during chinese new year. We need to go visiting that evening, and my leg looked so bad, my parents bought me a long pants to cover them since i don't have one that time. I used to be a slow eater, and often i won't be able to finish my food. Once, dad got so fedup, he kinda starved me for the whole day. N always, almost every meal, i'll be getting scoldings and/or slaps from him when he's really frustrated. Also, I used to be afraid of him a lot. He really scares the freak out of me when i was younger. I even hate him last time. Cuz i felt that he's always pampering sis but nvr me. Few times, i got so depressed, i even thought of suiciding. Of cuz i didn't attempt one. It just merely crossed my mind. Was being silly last time. Thought that it'll make them regret for not treating me better. Silly me.

I only get my 1st phone when i finish SPM(n its the one i'm using now still) though i literally begged him for one since form3. And since i'm a person who used to sleep very little and hate sleep a lot, I used to be forced to sleep at 1030 every night since young. Till i'm in secondary if not mistaken. And weird but true, dad doesn't like me having afternoon naps. N i used to sleep in the afternoon after school. So, everytime when he comes back from work around 4 plus, i'll have to wake up even if i just hit my head on the pillow seconds before and having a headache lacking sleep the night before. N i iron my own clothes since secondary school. I wash my own shoes since primary. Hmm.. not trying to impress. But still, not many of my guy friends do that at that time. Even now, i'm amazed how some of my friends don't even know how to iron.

Well, i guess all that i've been through since young, makes me who i am now. N i'm glad to be who i am now. Just that it would be better if i can take that solemn side of me away. N of cuz, it would be best if i wouldn't have to be doing what i'm doing now-studying in UTP. I always thought that i'll go into form6 1st. Or if not, college. Never thought i'll be in a uni doing my degree so soon right after my spm. N i was only 17 at that time. I always thought that in this period of my life from 17-23, i'll be doing a lot of things i wanted to do when i was small, enjoying myself and chasing after my dreams. Well, maybe because i'm a pts student, skipped from std3-5, den from std6-form1, n now, from doing form6, to becoming a uni student. I used to be proud of myself last time. But now, sometimes i wish i haven't skipped at all. Feels like i've been rushing all my life and dedicated my whole childhood to adolescence period in studying. If i were to go slower, think i'll have more childhood episodes to tell now. More video games covered. More kiddish stuff played. Maybe? Maybe not. And maybe that's why now i always refuse to study and study and study like how few of my coursemates do. That's also one reason why i started gaming even when i never like it in the first place.

There are so many things i wish to do, wish to learn, wish to have now. But yet there are so many unfulfilling wishes due to circumstances. Due to me stucking in UTP. Due to the need of securing myself a better jobscope in future. But all these just doesn't make sense to me right now. Why am i giving up on so many things now for the unseen future so far ahead. What if i die tomorrow? What if Jesus comes back tomorrow? What ifs...

Maybe maths and logics aren't supposed to provide an answer to this. Only God knows. Only God knows.

Ugly creatures!!

Was reading the news online. N then i saw this article. The more i read it, the more frustrated i become. click here.

Earlier, speaking at the closing of the colloquium, Dr Mahathir advised the Malays to work hard and learn to feel shame from failure, to build a stronger race.

He said this was the only way for the Malays to catch up with the Chinese.

WTF??? Den..

“We have given the Malays many opportunities under the New Economic Policy and some have made use of that positively while some have taken it for granted.”

“Although the Malays are better off today than before, they are still far behind the Chinese,” he said.

WTF WTF???

Aren't we supposed to be focusing on building up our NATION as a WHOLE? Why should Dr.M make comparison between malays n chinese? N the way he puts it simply shows that all the government policy is not designed in a way which benefits all, but more to aid malays in overtaking chinese in whichever sectors concerned. Also, it's as if they're making it as their ultimate goal or something.

All these whiles, since primary, we've been taught to participate and encourage interacial activities, communication and interactions. We are taught to be proud of our ourselves being able to live in harmony in a multicultural/racial country. And while we're doing this, the Ms are actually plotting agaisnt us?

Even in Uni, lotsa racial issues revolve around daily. Where you'll c the Ms having Rakan Masjid, but chinese society is prohibited. Also, you'll c how Rakan Masjid play its role in sabotaging concerts, performance or competitions held by other clubs or societies. Spreading faulty information about other clubs is also a usual scene.

Why??

Can't we just forget about race, color, culture and for once, really mean what we say? Fuck the tnemnrevog!! Damn hypocrites!!

Lazy me wants A!!

Last post b4 my finals start tmr at 9am. I'm eager to delete all the HSE subject materials in my lappie. I'll get to do that right after my HSE paper tmr. It's from 9-11. 2 hours for me to regurgitate all the 16 chapters that i've learned from day1. very much like pendidikian moral. memorise this memorise that. zzz..

den friday would be my Vector calculus. Followed by modern music on sat. Den the following week, i'll be doomed! All the technical papers. Digital electronics on monday, Microelectronics on wed. N finally, my last paper-Network Analysis on thurs.

Y do we need to sit for exams? N i hate the CGPA system where they accumulate your results from semester to semesters. N we have finals every sem, so basically it's like taking SPM once every half a year. Flunk 1 sem, n u can say bye bye to the rest of your 5 years here. stress.

Argh.. Come come!! The sooner it starts, the faster it ends.

I just want to end it asap. My mind keep focusing on the 1.5 months' hols after finals. Gotta focus back on my exam somehow. I need to keep my grades despite the little efforts that i've put in. I know it's unreasonable. But i don't care. I want my grades!! I don't care.

I don't wanna study, but i want my A!! =p

sigh.. lazy me.. dream on..eyes getting reddish. effect of staring too much at the screen. 12.11am. gotta sleep. though i know i won't be able to fall asleep. not until 2 at least. but still, i nid 2 rest.. zzz...

Gud luck all. God bless. Amen.

昨晚又说了些傻话，
也许最近压力大，
累了，
容易不高兴，
烦。。

无心伤害，
对不起。

Sunset & Silhoutte.

Yesterday, a few of us went to Kg.Bali for dinner. The food there is quite nice compared to tronoh. Pricing is reasonable as well. Actually this was my 2nd time there. Think will go more often the sems to come.

On the way back, i saw this sunset which was really beautiful. I regretted for not bringing along my cam. N i'm not tht gud with words, so cant really describe it properly. But i googled it, n found this two pics.





What i've seen is kind of a combination of these two pics. But of course, its much more beautiful than these though. lol.. Imagine u hv the yellowish sky from the 1st pic combined with the stretch of road in the 2nd. N change the grayish clouds to a somewhat lighter grey ones. perfect isn't it?

Of cuz i've seen better sunsets at the beach. But again, tht's a different feel. I like the way the sunset blend with the field which is golden brownish in color alongside the road. Add on with the transmission lines n towers in metallic grey. Its like a natural silhoutte. So nice!!

One day, i shall drive there with my cam n take some pics!

N it just reminds me bout the Jaychow MV, "yiluxiangbei". the sunset inside is nice. the AE86 too. =p.

捨不得看妳覺得不自在

Say goodnight晚安 謝謝妳陪我一整個夜晚
Close your eyes,be quiet 我明白妳有自己的不安

除此之外 要妳明白 妳的笑我真是喜歡看
於是我一次又一次等待 其實都還算愉快

除此之外 非常遺憾 妳的心我還是打不開
And if you need somebody
我確定我會在 不會走開

So Goodbye晚安 捨不得看妳覺得不自在
It’s alright,I’m fine
I’m gonna stay for a while

除此之外 我還在等待 妳的心將為我敞開
But if you need somebody
你知道我會在
不會走開

Hate this!!

Hv u ever experience this before? At some days when i was waiting for a msg, my phone was as silent as the grave. Den suddenly, my phone beeped, happily i picked up my phone, check on the msg with a smile on my face. n then, the msg reads :

Want to Win a Dopod D810? It's easy! Just bid to win! ... Send Bidon to 22001. ... sender: hotlink

Fine. then another half an hour passed. n my phone beeped again. As excited as before, i quickly grabbed my phone n checked on the msg. N this time, it reads:

Celebrate Mother&Father's day... Send an MMS dedication to 22563. ... sender: maxis

Oh my... [faint]

On a side note, heard that there's a newly installed CCTV speed trap along LDP? N the speed limit is only 90kmh. anyone who know bout this pls tell me more ok?

Pics again

Just some pics of my campus to share. Think this is the 1st time i'm posting it up. So, hv fun!






And for the fun of it, here's a random photo taken from one of our outings. funny!!

ghastly...

Church Of Praise

It has been some time since i last step into Church of Praise in tronoh here. So many sundays i've promised myself to go for the service, yet it didn't happen. Too occupied with assignments and my own agendas. So this afternoon, i finally went back to this youth church with much enthusiasm.

Tagged along with SoonWei n Joshua. So it was 4plus in the evening when the worship started. People overhere are mainly from UTP as well. They are so different from home church in a way. Maybe because they are all youths. But they are very much passionate and excited. Jumping, shouting, praying, singing all over the small shop-lot church. And you can really feel the overflowing joy in them when they're worshipping. Our youth pastor-Pastor Elijah, is also a very passionate one. Shouting and jumping all around the place while preaching his sermon. Something we don't see in home church. Oh, n he has just become a father. God bless!!

One thing that i find rather distracting is the cracking speakers. Too much cracking and feed back during the worship session. But it didn't stop people from shouting and jumping high for God still!! It makes me feel like we're having a youth camp in every service. Love the enthusiasm and passion in these people. Heard from SoonWei, we're getting a new sound system set once we move to the new lot juz beside JarumEmas. Looking forward to that day. The worship will be a blast then. =p

On a side note, i finally got back all the hillsong n planetshakers album in my lappie after so long since my old lappie got stolen. Listening to my favorite MyKing album again. It's gonna accompany me thruout my study week now. =)

It has been quite an enjoying weekend despite all the pressure that is tumbling down on me harder and harder as the days go by. Counting down 8 days more to finals. Anyone who's free and reading this, gimme an sms as encouragement k. Ur fren here need some care n concern!! lol..

Air liur meleleh...

Have been frensta active and blog hopping pretty much lately. Den while i was blog hopping after a tiring vector mugging session, i saw this blog which makes me droop..

http://jacksonkah.blogspot.com/

have a look at it, and you'll understand.

Gosh.. All the KL food, from 1U, USJ, Subang, Sunway.... WAH!! Waffle World!! Italianis!! Zuup!!

i really wish i have a time machine. Then i can zoom 1 month ahead n enjoy my hols at home.

ARGH... Dream on...

Refreshing!

Went for a jog with my rummie round 10pm. all the way from V5f-->V5k-->Behind pocket c-->chancellor complex-->mph-->mainhall-->sportscomplex-->POOL!!

Then had a fun time in the pool. Didn't expect so many people will be there also. Like a pool party. haha. kinda relax. Maybe it's bcuz we'll not be having any classes the following week. Though it'll be followed closely by the finals, but still, its really good to get a breather like this. Kinda refreshing.

So long didn't swim d. My feet cramped. Kinda weird. Usually when i cramp during a basketball game, it's gonna be the thigh, but this time, it's the feet. The toes really hurt lots. Despite the pain, we still had a great time swimming around and playing. Also, not forgetting to push our friends down the pool. haha.. [EVIL GRIN] Sam and Pitmin did a dive into the pool. pretty smooth. Kinda amazed. i tried a few times. But just couldn't get it right. keep hitting my chest onto the surface of the water. And of cuz, IT HURTS!! Maybe i should swim more frequently. Remember i used to swim a lot those days. When we were young, dad used to drive us all the way to kundang(or is it kundasang?) and we'll swim the whole day, like from 10am-5/6pm. maybe we didn't swim the whole day, but we did play in the pool the whole day. Kinda miss those days..

Ohya, i did some pushups before the jog. can barely do 20 times now. sigh :( my tummy almost can do a smiley face d. and what used to be muscles turned into a layer of soft cushion now. really need to exercise more and keep up with my pushups. Hope that i won't waste my study week just studying in the room this time.

Sis off to terrenganu in few hours time. Sure enjoy herself gao gao this time. Love lots ya. Oh ya, i want souveniers!! Not sure if u'll be able to read this. But anyhow, I WANT SOUVENIERS!!!!!

-offline-

Harchiuzzzz....

Sneeze sneeze go away!!

Not really sure how it happens, but i started sneezing all of a sudden and it just won't stop. Damn. hate this feeling. nose block. though i'm used to it, since i've endured this since young, but still, it makes me so uncomfy. Especially when you have so much work piled up on the table. Not a right time to fall sick.

Kinda long didn't touch dota and Cs d. BUt hv a new silly game to pass time with now. It's not a new game act. Was quite popular during my form 5 years. But i only started playing now. It's WORMS!! lol.. kinda fun to play when u r all stressed up. It'll help in releasing tension i think. And of cuz, it's my rummie who intro-ed this game to me. Damn. The longer i stay with him, the more i become a gamer. lol. but still, i have my priorities clearly mapped out. just pray that i'l be able to stick with plan n won't get too caught up with all this games.

Harchiu!!!!! ops.. still sneezing!! AAAARRRGGGHHHH!!! I HATE THIS!!

daddy, mommy, y am i born with this sensitive nose heh?? sigh..

but still, thanks for bringing me into this world. Love ya. N miss u peeps at home. Take care ya. I'll be back in no time!!

12:35am, time for me to go to bed and rest my eyes since tmr hv to wake up early for coq pre-registration. My friends are all done with coq. but i still hv 1 sem left. woke up late during the pre-reg 2 sems ago and did not get my place the following sem. Kinda enjoy that sem watching my rummie go for coq at night while i can stay in the room watching series. But it's pay back time now i guess. Karma? lol..

I have this prob with my eyes, it tends to get watery and reddish easily. And in UTP, all i do is stare at my laptop for hours. Not that i want to, but everything we do have to be associated with it. Be it studying lecture notes, reports, preparing presentation, watch drama, dota, chat.. whatever it is, you have to have your eyes fix on the screen. And the consequences is of cuz having big black panda eyes with huge eye bags. So much for my eyes.. N now i hv to put on my specs in lectures. that day while i was flipping through the astro channel on tv, i kinda squeeze my eyes to read the info in the blue column at the bottom of the screen. I used to be able to read that comfortably without effort. Only then i realise my eyes are really getting worse by the days. Mayb someone should invent some equipments to help you see through your nose? Then i might be able to close my eyes and still see the world outside. Or maybe i might have to use my mouth to breathe then since my nose is occupied with seeing things.

Sometimes i admire my rummie, he hardly sleeps, he can still look so energetic even if he sleeps at 3am n wake up at 8 the next morning. What makes that so admirable is that it;s not for one night, but it's for 3-4 days continuously. i mean, which creature on earth can withstand that amount of hours filled with work with so little sleep? Another thing i admire most is his ability to sleep as soon as his head touches the pillow. Since young, i have this problem with sleeping where you are so so tired you wish you could sleep immediately but your mind just wouldn't give way. And the more you force yourself to sleep, the harder it is to actually fall asleep. One of my childhood dreams is to invent a pill to defy the need of sleeping. i heard that there's one out there right now, it was invented for military purpose at 1st. But it turned commercialised soon enough when they realise the incredibly huge demand in today's world. Heard that there's no side-effect. maybe i will get one to try on someday. Or more appropriately put, i might NEED one someday.

It's always at night like this that i'll get more and more emo by the second. Knowing that i am tired and need rest but yet i choose to blog. Choose to stay awake. It's hard to explain how i'm feeling right now. It's as if you just don't want to waste the night itself by going to bed because the next moment you open your eyes again, it'll be of a different day all over. It's like there's something you don't wish to let go. Something that i can't really make out, but it's definitely of great importance to me. Maybe it's just the mood that i'm having now, or perhaps the peace at night. Maybe someday i'll figure out that missing link. Or perhaps it'll remain a secret unknown for the rest of my life..

Ouh.. its raining outside. good time for bed. nitez..

Lost and Found!

Always take a mile further in whatever you do to be an inspiration to others!

I am motivated!! I am inspired!!

It's been sometime since I have this kinda feeling.

Kinda lost the passion for life, the burning desire to serve God that I once had. So many things that I wanted to do once, became forgotten since I stepped into UTP 2 years ago.

But today is a different day. I will be an inspiration to others again. I hunger for the light of God which shines through me once before. I will finish the things that I’ve once started. I will march on till the end of my life. No regrets. No more.