Last Day of Mid-sem Break..

Here i am blogging again on my last nite of break... Time passes so fast, rmb when i came home on fri, saw my baby rover, my bed, n most of all, nice n tasty food... lots of them. N guess wut? The next thing i know, it's all over...

I brought my books back with me, as decoration though. Supposed to study but i didn't. As usual la i thought.

Started my last day with a happy mood n i thought it will last. But it doesn't. Everything was perfect till i did something foolish. I wonder sometimes, how pathetic things can be. How unusual it is a day for me to be happy for 24 hours...

Come to think of it, i just realise that being happy is totally different from being cheerful. I always thought that it is interchangable. Not that i don't understand it's meaning, just that i never put my mind into differentiating between these two. The thing is this, you need not be happy inside to be cheerful on the outside. N the most important part is that people love one who is cheerful. Yes. Even if u are unhappy! So sad but true, i'm one who's not cheerful enough i guess. Always on the down side. Sigh.. Trying to stay happy n cheerful though. Trying as hard as i can..

The worst thing is that i simply don't enjoy studying in UTP, TRONOH. Don't ask me why. You'll never wanna know. There's a million reasons to it and it will flood this blog page if i spell it out one by one. How can i be happy when i don't enjoy or more appropriately DISLIKE what i am doing? I know i'm blessed to get a place + a scholarship from petronas. I know i have no other choice. I know i have to strive my best and make full use of this opportunity. I know it's only for a few years time b4 i graduate. I know... But i just don't enjoy doing everything that i Know i have to... What am i suppose to do?

Every morning i wake up in U, i can't wait for the sun to set, and every night when i close my eyes, i just hope that i'll fall asleep asap so that i can cut one more day out from my countdown. Every beginning of sem, i'll be waiting for the end of sem to come. Everyday in U is merely a lifeless day to me. I do wut i am suppose to do to SURVIVE!! N the things that is supposed to do consists of many that i dislike n shudn't do. What can i do??

Lastly, i know that it is pointless for me complaining here. As if i have other alternatives. As if an angel will pop up suddenly and save me from all this shit. As if... But again, what more can i do other than throwing all these shit here? Maybe someone might read and agree with me, then i'll noe i'm not alone at least. How childish one can be when one is trapped in a helpless situation. How childish i am sometimes. I wonder...