End of hols..

Will be going back to campus on sat morning. Finally, my mid sem break is almost over.

Haven done much, besides finishing FUllHOUSE, Utopia, eat, spend time with parents and baby rou. din even get to c much of sis. She's pretty busy with her uni activities. Gonna miss her lots.

This time around, i'll be facing my finals again b4 i can rest for another 1 n a half months in mid november.

Having insomnia lately, i wonder.. Only 18, n i'm having this prob. mayb i'm not used to my bed at home anymore. that sounds pathetic to me. it's like having something u once lived with n now u can no longer feel comfortable with it anymore. how can this be happening.

Or perhaps i think too much lately? Been thinking pretty much this few months. Thinking what i will become in 3 years time, will i graduate with an honours? or perhaps i won't make it that far? thinking bout how life will be for me when i'm out working. I want to be a succesful person. that's what they taught me to be since i'm 5. or maybe younger. Tht's why people study so hard n work so hard each day. Just to be succesful.

Then what is being succesful? To many ppl, it means to be rich. To be famous maybe? Having higher social status? being able to brag around with their big houses n big cars perhaps?

For me, I want to have a nice n cozy room to begin with. With carpeted walls, a king size bed, a tv set, a com, complete with surrounding system. that's what i dreamt of since young. Weird dream huh? i never like my room. it's not carpeted, single bed, lousy window, broken door, dim fluorescent light, n the list goes on.. not liking it is one thing, but i really do appreciate what i have now. at least i hv MY room to begin with. rmb since young, many of my frens hv to share rooms with their siblings, i'm always proud to hv my own.

I don't need a big car, just a plain one will do.

I want a high paid job. According to what i learn n understand all these years, money may not be everything, but everything needs money. n the word succesful can never go without 'money'. i dun nid to be rich, but i dun wanna be poor either. so if i hv to choose one, i'll surely choose to be rich. simple logic isn't it. Bear in mind, we're living in a realistic world. not the fantasy world we c on Tvs.

I want a perfect family, but i noe that can never come true, cuz ppl use to say 'Nth is perfect'. So maybe i should rephrase. I want a good family. beautiful wife n wonderful kids.. haha.. [evilish grin] Tht's just plain hope though.

N ya, b4 that, i would like to do my parents a favor. Fulfill their dreams. There are things that they wish to do but couldn't due to circumstances, n i really hope that i can make things come true for them one day.

These are the things that i think of, dream of n wonder about these few months. Maybe it'll come true one day n i hope i'll be satisfied with myself then. If things do not turn out that way, i guess God has a bigger plan for me n i shud pray more often. haha..

So, i shall get some rest now..

Nites all..