Markah x halal

I think i'm really screwed up this semester, however, i'm in an exeptional gush of luck i presume. Since i really did screw up almost about everything, but somehow things always turn out fine in the end one way or another.

Example 1, i screwed up my control test, late for half an hour and made some silly mistakes here n there, guess what? i got 94 for it, n it's markah x halal since i really made mistakes but just that i'm not sure why i still get marks for a wrong answer. Think i have a very kind lecturer yeah? Pretty screwed isn't it?

Example 2, got back my analogue test 2 today, screwed up the 1st question since i mistaken a bandpass filter for a bandstop filter(the total opposite). And guess what, i got 20/20 for that question still and a total of 70. Damn, markah x halal again.

Example 3, was totally late for one of my application, bout a month, yet, i was still accepted though i went through quite a lot of hassle for that. Still, crazily blessed i guess.

N there are a lot of other things that i messed up, but i'll keep that to myself anyway, n yeah, in the end, everything just turn out fine. I'm not sure if i should thank god for that or should feel guilty instead. But ultimately, i guess i should just do both.

On another matter, MSN n HOTMAIL seems to fail today, can't log in to both messenger n my hotmail. It's crucial for me since i'm expecting some important emails, hate utp for that. But yeah, looking on the bright side, my room get quite good reception for wifi connection and i actually have the privilege of enjoying fast internet connection almost everyday whereas most of my friends even those from the same block as me just couldn't login for whatever the reason being n they are left with LAN which all utpians know how sucky the internet connection can get with LAN.

Also, yeah, my phone reception, only my room has it. Go to any other rooms in my block, u don't even get a single bar of reception jokes aside. Can't even sms not to mention making phone calls. So, cheers even though i still get choppy conversation here and there at least i know i'm in a far better condition compared to many others. =)

Being blessed, i thank God for that.

Daylight Robbers

N so i was greeted by Mr.Sun this morning..

The sun just rose when i exit UTP gate to Jelapang for renewal of my passport. It took about 3 hours plus and i conclude that as high efficiency since well, it's Malaysia rite?

And on my way back, was trailing behind this truck, where at one point he slowed down and signaled left signalling for me to overtake, reflects took over, signaled right, cut out and whoops.. No, not accident, but there's two creature in uniform flagging me right on the spot. Caught in action, it's a double line.

After taking my IC n Licence, n the whole fake i'm-gonna-give-u-a-ticket talk, the conversation went like this:

Pak Hodoh: "Ini double line tau? kalau saman 300, lepas sebulan u gi rayuan, mungkin lepas diskaun 200. ok?"

Me: "jangan la boss. I ingat truck depan problem sbb dia signal nak masuk, bukan saje-saje nak overtake ni."

Pak Hodoh: "Eh.. x boleh..x boleh.. u ckp dgn office nanti bila rayu la. 200 boleh kot." den after pausing a while, he continued "ok?"(mcb!!)

So i peek into my wallet, n fuck, after paying 300 for the passport renewal, i'm left with only rm7, took out the rm7 look at him, "boleh x?"

Pak Hodoh:"ini 300 la, u ingat men2 ka? 7 ringgit mana cukop?"

I remember i kept some money in my car in case i forget my wallet, n so i searched, n shoot, only 4 bucks left.. So 4+7=11. I flashed that rm11 n gave him an innocent smile as best as i could. "10 ringgit boleh x?"

Pak Hodoh:"U tanya boss sana la, 10 cukop makan x?"

Me:"Boss, i student ma, betul tak ada lagi la. Ini saja yg ada."

Pak Hodoh:"Bawa siket je duit ni macam mana you nak balik nanti? Petrol sudah pam ke? Dah makan lom?"

Me:"Petrol ada, baru pam, la ni yang tinggal, boleh la?"

N many lines of conversation persuading him this is the only money left, which i'll omit here.. N finally,

Pak hodoh:"Okla, u student, i amek duit ni sebab u nak belanja eh? Jalan.."

Me:"okok, thank you a.. Sorry ye.."

Pak Hodoh:" perlahan-lahan ya.. jaga-jaga ye.."

Me:"ya ok ok.."

N fuck, i'm broke. fucking day light robbers squeeze even the very last drop of my money. DAMN YOU SHITHOLE!!

#1 Art of survival u gotta learn in malaysia-bribery n corruption!! It rocks!!

Those who shall not be named

To you:

Thanks for always being brutal with me, cruel to me, and ignoring me, but that will never wipe off the unconditional love u have for me. Yeah i know that. n i love you too.

To you:

You are probably the best tai ka che i've ever had, always there to listen, to accompany me, even when u r busy, yeah i know u r busy but i just can't help it. When i can't turn to anyone be it friends or family, u are the only one that i know i can turn to and yeah like u've said, i'm probably the bane of your existance. But yeah, glad to have you.

To you:

Between us are things that i never intended. If there's anything i can do to make up for it i would. Certainly. Just hoping for better days between us.

To you:

Though i never wanna admit, but yeah u've changed me lots in a very short time. I became everything i never want to be before. And now i basically skipped a level and currently at my very best and still going. Just makes me wonder. But well, things in this world work in a very miraculous way. And yeah it's a little insane too.

To you:

Till today, i guess we've fought more than we talk. But i'm glad we never drifted that far apart after all. Silly but true. Everything about you is home. Being with you is like being home n i guess i'm really lucky to have u included in this chaotic world of mine. Thanks for caring n everything n do noe that i care for u a dozen too. U r wonderful in a very intimidating way i would say. But u r just u, like how i can be myself with u, n i love that.

To you:

N you. I probably don't have to say anything here but well, i'll start. It's been so many fucking years now that i sometimes couldn't believe it. Really. You are always there and always always there. Like you've said, you can't live without me. I know it sounds corny, but yeah, neither can i. Funny but i just realised this, u r the reason that motivates me to be better. N u pick me up every single time i fall. Without you, i really dun wanna imagine how far i could have drifted away n how deep i could have sunk. N u r perhaps the only person that can bear with me for so long till today. Thanks.

On a side note, this just came in.

Paint me a rainbow that shall nvr fade

Huggies drives me home

Back home since yesterday to collect my passport, skipped today's class for the sake of staying home for another day.

Was at DeCanters last night chilling though i was really tired. Had my interview in the morning, classes, labs, drove home and all. But how often am i home i thought, n so i went n ended up home bout 2 or 3 i couldn't really remember. But yeah the point is, i'm home.

I love hugs. It's much practical than any other form of soothing-ism. N it always work for me. Hugs which are sincere comes across from within almost instantly once the connection is made. Makes me feel home. N all the messages that you don't send out usually be it good or bad just come across so thoroughly when u hug. Can even tell how much a person care for you by merely a hug. N i love that. I love things crystal clear. Unhidden. I love truth.

Talking bout truth, it's only lived up by the ones who's life is perfect and protected like in fairytales. No one else can stay truthful when thrown out into this crazy world we're living in today. Everyone comes with both sides of good and bad, and often to survive in this bloody crazy environment we're living in today, we often do a lot of shits when no one is looking simply to cover our own ass. N sure enough, no one in the world would portray the bad side but rather, the better side of themselves will be massively broadcast over and over again.

Just to survive, u lie, compromise when you know you shouldn't, bend ur own beliefs and morals, all for the sake of surviving. Sometimes when u wander too far off, u'll eventually loose yourself. Loose your identity as u get too caught up with this insanity. Until u return to someone u can stand bare naked with n not feel ashamed, knowing that its safe to be yourself, and having the confidence that she knows you enough to understand and accept who u really are, that's when u get a glimpse of being home again. N after all the chaos, a warm hug n a smack from her will certainly be all too fucking gorgeous to drive u home safe n warm.

Home sweet home tonight.

*Gonna screw another 2 papers on monday.

Shooting star in movies

They say i need to sleep but sleep ain't coming to me.

Movie. People don't stay in the cinema any longer once the end appeared. Whether u like the movie or not, in the end, u'll leave cause that's what people do. Can't say you wish the hero to live longer, or the fight to last longer, or the romance to erupt further, it has to end because it reached that 1.5 hours limit.

There are times when you really love the movie so much, that even if it's a happy ending, u still wish there wouldn't be an ending at all just because you enjoyed it so much that you're not willing to end that fun time.

N there are times, the end pop up so suddenly that you turn around and ask your friends "that's it??" N yeah, that's all. Probably feel hanging in the middle, not going anywhere n it's kinda disappointment since u expected more. Anyhow, you know you'll certainly pick a better movie next time.

N there are also times where the hero or heroin dies, or the two just didn't end up together, you probably might feel down or cry over it perhaps, but after crying you'll probably love how the sad ending magnify the beauty of it further. N perhaps it'll stick to your memory for quite some time.

N lastly, the worse case, the movie ended and you just don't feel a thing at all. Simply wasted 1.5 hours, 10 bucks for the tix n perhaps more for popcorns n a coke, n lots of concentration. wakaka..

Haha.. crap.. This is the most random post ever due to frequent insomnia, sorry folks, wasted your time reading my bullshits.

Rotaract Finale: The secret-Law of Attractions

So we ended our rotaract term with the last club meeting flooded with all the pictures n montage of events we organized followed by a mamak session. Released from my duty n post.

Wanna confess that i was really too occupied with other issues this semester that i didn't contribute much, felt really bad for holding the post but not doing my job as the assistant funding director. Skipped so many board meetings, club meetings, events, even funding avenue's events. Even my corporate shirt, it's my 1st time putting that on just now at the last club meeting. Can you imagine that?? Guess utp rotaractors will know what i'm talking about.

N since i'll be doing my internship soon, officially i can't hold any position for the next term, it's kinda like no chance for me to make up for the things i've been too busy to do. But setting that aside, i still wanna do something for rotaract and redeem myself for good.

N so i kinda pledge that i'm gonna make up for it. How?

20k sponsorship for the next term. Yeah i know that sounds absurd, my director made a resolution beginning of the term for getting 100k sponsorship n we only make 450 in the end. But again, that shouldn't stop us from dreaming big. N looking at the potential of our rotaract club, i honestly think it isn't impossible to get people who's willing to pay 20k sponsoring meaningful events like this.

N kinda make a deal with the elect president for next term, if i get that money flow in, all community service based projects next term will be free for all members. I really wanna c that happen since i know that lotsa students out there really wants to join rotaract's projects but just couldn't afford the money.

So if i can get this through, it's gonna be a contribution not only to rotaract utp, the students and members, it's also gonna benefit the community. I've seen so many projects we've done this term n i really think that it's a successful term and every event impacts lives n touches souls. All so meaningful simply put. I believe that there're corporations out there who'll be more than happy to fund us as a way to contribute back to the community. The key is to locate these people n i will try my best to accomplish that.

So, gonna work hard to make this happen during my coming semester break. Anyone who happens to read this and know anyway to assist me, do leave a comment or something ok?

On another note, i just realized that there're really so many things on my mind lately, really pray hard that things will work out as planned.

1) Germany!!(At least i get one thing confirmed)

2) Getting my semi-intern during break!!

3) Singapore next semester!! Or better still australia but i'm late already!!

4) Conceptualizing ideas on my 1st million!!

5) Getting 20k sponsorship for rotaract utp!!

N last but not least, hope i can still manage to maintain my CGPA despite all the things which is taking my time and concentration away. N i just screwed up my analogue test II. Great.

Oh misa campo, i wan u!!!

Dear campo,

Could you please close your eyes for a sec babe?

You see, I'm sitting for a test at 5, and all I'm doing is staring at you. So could you do me a lil favor babe? Close your eyes for a second..

I'll need that second to move away from your captivating eyes..

Hate n love your pretty eyes,

Ben.

Starbucks and Temptations

Sitting at starbucks trying to understand output stage amplifier while eavesdropping on the neighbouring 2 tables at the same time is really not an easy task i would say.

Moreover, knowing the fact that sincero, baby face, rum jungle n all are just a few minutes drive away makes it even harder to focus on what need to be done.

N yeah, the little red rectangular packet is sitting quietly staring at me, calling to me. Ahh.. This is so interesting isn't it?

Looking at my friend concentrating on his FYP.. gah..

I should get back to work now too, don't wanna party with guilt later.

Surf junky( A SCAM)

**Edited on 19th april 2008

After doing some research on this, i came to the conclusion that surf junky just another scam. So don't bother signing up peeps. =)

Received a message from facebook today, some pay to surf programs, and i always delete without reading. Anyhow, i decided to have a look at it and in the end, i signed up. damn.

What do you have to do? just sign up, open a browser, let it run on its own, click on some banners when you are bored of studying, n that's it. Yeah simple rite?

But that's not the thing that attracts me, it's the live update counter which they are running. It's a counter which counts how long you are browsing the page(stay online let it run on its own n go mamak) and how much money is going into your pocket($0.45 per hour) and it is updated live. Yeah it's fun to see the $$ counting up rite? for me la.. not sure if others feel the same hehe. N yeah it's in dollars.

So anyhow, like i've said, i signed up, n it's counting up now, still counting.. n still counting..

Activity Points: 2
Payment rate: $0.45 per hour
Hours spent surfing: 1.67
Your earnings: $0.75

Up up up it counts...

Can't believe i actually signed up still..

Shape shifting

At the verge of breaking.

Tell me how.

Sleepy eyes.

Missing every line.

Need my dose.

It's pure black.

Focus.

Still.

Missing.

Little Wonders

Currently feeling numb.

I always wonder what's the reason people strive so hard for their studies, like me. What's the point of this cycle of life where we'll go to kinder garden, primary school, high school, college or uni, work produce kid, make them do the same thing we did, and die off or if we live longer, we might be able to see our children producing theirs and do the same thing to their kid like what we did to them. It's like running in circles looking for the end point but there's none and you're always stuck in that circle going no where. Perhaps you might find yourself somewhere further if the circle you are making is a bit bigger, but still, the fact is no matter how big your circle may be you ARE still running in circles.

Get good grades, get into a good company, be highly competitive and get a highly paid job and then you'll lead a good life.

Er.. wait.. From the beginning, who guarantees that getting good grades will get you into a good company? And getting into a good company doesn't guarantee a highly paid job too. And even if you get a highly paid job, it doesn't at all give you a good life. The only reason this theory survived till today is because this is what tradition leaves behind.

But the world has changed today. So much so that the cert that you are fighting so hard for currently means so little in the real world when it was once a BIG DEAL. Yeah, knowledge is power, and it remains true till today. But it's no longer the knowledge that you learn from school that is power anymore, it's a totally different one all in all.

Talk about cyber space, talk about job opportunities, talk about securities, business market, love relationship, social networking, communication infrastructure, government policies, trading efficiencies. You'll notice that none of it can be defined as how you used to define them 10 years ago. And people still think that the same old theory of leading a good life applies. It's either we just don't see the changes or we are simply being ignorant.

So back to my question, why the heck are we striving so hard academically and always say that it is our 1st priority?? How do we actually came up with the idea that getting good grades is our main priority? Is there a slight chance that we set our priority wrongly since the very beginning due to influences and traditions? That we simply didn't even spend enough time thinking from scratch what should we prioritize in this phase of our life? Or maybe we din even notice the need to evaluate should studies be 1st priority now at uni level?

Maybe there are more to life that we should excel in, even more than studies. Maybe?

Party like a rockstar

Life in utp is a bloody cycle where there's no difference between weekdays and weekends.

weekends we work the same
weekdays we party the same

work like hell in the day getting money
party like hell during the night throwing money

all in all
tired like hell n still no money

shitty life i'm living

Business in 0.01s

Been busy lately trying to work out so many things in this short time. Re-organizing n re-prioritizing everything. Kinda failed my life last 3 years since i came to uni. Saying this not because i fail in anything in that sense, just that i'm not progressing much as how i used to n wish to n to me, that's failing.

N somehow when i finish all the thinking n decision making, i'm shocked at how i prioritize my life now. Everything changes. N for the 1st time i'm up for changes. Silly me, i told a friend of mine today that i'm gonna make my 1st million before i'm 25. She must think i'm going nuts i guess.

but well again, not forgetting the law of attraction. positive thoughts draw positive things n negative thoughts will always attract the negative things in life. N how true is it i thought, after all, my life has been blessed with many undeserved blessings n i honestly think that it has got something to do with the way u think. So far, i've always been getting the things that i positively think i will get even when at that time it seems a bit nuts to think that way even to myself.

I always tell myself, its only a matter of time before i'll get it. n yeah it works pretty well for me. The problem only comes when u give up even before trying. so what the heck, i'm gonna get my 1st million before the age of 25. nuts or not. lets just believe it now.

N i was hanging out with a friend last night, were talking n he asked, do u noe how much faster our malaysian 100m runner should be able to run after completing their 6 months training overseas? i simply shook my head, not quite sure what to say. Mayb i wasn't quite sure what's the question about too. Then he continued, they only need to be 0.01s faster than other participants n they'll emerge victorious. The moral of the story is simply this, u only need to be a little bit ahead of people to be outstanding.

Simply put, in malaysia, it's not that hard to be outstanding or to be successful, just need to be slightly ahead n it'll make all the difference. N how hard can that be? That depends on how badly u want that i think. where to start? start by hanging a smile on your face n be more courteous to people around you n u'll notice a big difference. sad to say, but somehow malaysians suck in this. so if u can do this, at least all i can say is u're on your way to that 0.01s difference.

N people with ideas but no actions are malaysians too. We always have great ideas, but how often do we put them into actions n make something out of it? hardly. so pick up your lazy ass( i mean mine actually) n start doing something now. Plan n map out your ideas n start working on it. it might not turn out as planned, but it'll certainly bring u somewhere, somewhere further ahead. Somewhere towards that 0.01s ahead.

So peeps, lets get started now.

Breakfast at V5 cafe

Look at the black spot on the fried egg

Cockroach!!!

Y must i suffer like this?? N this is the new item we have in v5 cafe.

Pourage???

Something corporate

I'm lost at sea, the radio jammed, I bet they won't find me
I swear it's for the best, and then your frequency is pulling me in closer till I'm home
and I've been up for days, I finally lost my mind,
and then I lost my way, I'm blistered but I'm better
and I'm home

I will grow, there's things that aren't worth giving up, I know, but I won't let this get me,
I will fight, you live the life you're given with the storms outside,
somedays all I do is watch the sky

This room's too small, it's only getting smaller, up against the wall,
I'm slowly getting taller, in this wonderland, your skin feels so familiar
and I'm home

I'll crawl, there's thing that aren't worth giving up I know, but I won't let this get me,
I will fight, you live the life you're given with the storms outside,
somedays all I do is watch the sky, and somedays
all I do is watch the sky

and I think I, I could use a little break
today was a good day
and I think I, I could use a little break,
but today was a good day

...and it's a deep sea, in which I'm floated, and still I sink to think that I must...

crawl, there's things that aren't worth giving up I know, when you can't bare to carry me,
I'll fight, you live the life you're given with the storms outside
and somedays all I do is watch the sky
today was a good day

Chill-la-kills

Another round down to Batu gajah to help out the rumah kanak-kanak cacat there. It's one of Rotaract community service monthly project where we try to go down n help them out at least once or twice each month.

3 of us working under the sun to beautify the little garden(i'm taking the picture)

R for Rotaract. (or Rumah kanak kanak cacat?)

Shira feeding lunch to one of the inmates

The girls after cleaning up the whole big dorm

ME, the trio(Alia, Ulia, Ilia) n Shira

Drag her along with me too

Rotaractors group pic 1(we forget bout Shira)

Another shot (now with Shira)

For all the good deeds, there's always another part of the story to be told. The night before..

This is just another kind of community service weekly project

N i only had 5 hours of sleep.. seriously exhausted.. 3 test next week n i'm dying..

For Josh-Third Phase

Stop that shit licking not like i own a ferrari
Years of love care share shit lets just flush it
U don't have to know who i am to be like me
Live it love it the third phase is plain dirty

Nod ya head we came to protect nobody
Move ya ass u know we came to party
Fuck that shitty face u're giving me
Live it love it shift in third phase ya plain dirty

Esso n Sincero

Sneaked out to sincero last night. Probably still the best one around here.

C that guy in white there? Met him n found out tht he's the "tai zi ye" who own's the bloody esso here. Dad, buy me an esso too pls..

evilish

Breathe

Breathe
take in wut kills
but heals
foolish but breathe

every value u murdered
spawns a new perception i c
its dark n gloomy
hidden bits of colors
will glow as u breathe

N its gonna be like this
so just breathe
take in wut kills
but heals

butterflies are meant to fly
love's but lay n lies
so just take the light
breathe

Robocon

Our sweat and pain and hardwork for about a year

Robocon gamefield in UKM
A picture of myself right before match

Dr.Naufal's treat-Kajang satay