Semester break

It's been really busy for me the past week and still is. Somehow it became a routine, for me to sleep at 5am in the morning, and wake up 2pm in the noon. Unhealthy cycle it may seem.

So occupied with many things in the day, meeting ups, reading, meeting ups, online, outings and more meeting ups. And during the night, it's either mamak sessions, alcohol fests, or just another quiet night in the room with my lappie and some books to read.

On the happening nights where i would probably be home 3.30 am in the morning, finding my mom sleeping on the couch in the hall, she claims she couldn't sleep because dad was snoring too loudly, yet i know it's partly because of me, she's waiting for me. That's her. 

I will usually kiss my dog good night, give my mum a hug, and ask her if she wants to sleep in my room which she never did. Washing up and all then I'll be lying on my bed staring at the glittery stars which I stick on my ceiling years ago. Sometimes, it's easy and I'll just doze off once my head hits the pillow. Other times, it's a matter of trying to fall asleep.

The quiet nights would be me staying in my room online chatting with friends, surfing some boring pages, and finally when everyone goes to sleep looking forward to another busy day tomorrow, I will be the only one up and still wide awake. Recently, I find myself enjoying the quiet nights reading some novels on my bed. Taking some personal time to relax without worrying bout any datelines to meet.

But it all comes when the clock strikes 4-ish in the morning when I finally decided to switch off the lights to sleep. Bits of images of what happen during the day starts screening through in my mind, sometimes the past and future comes in to play as well.  

I still think a lot during bed time, even after I realize this last few years and is trying to change since then, it stays.

Sometimes, I still see you in my head. Every bit of details remains. Every bit of you remains. Every single tone of your voice rings in my head. As if we never grew up and still stay in that time of innocence.

Sometimes I see portions of a family in a big house, two kids and the mom preparing their bags for school in the morning, right before a man came down the stairs in suits and tie with a briefcase held tight in his hands. Kiss her and the kids goodbye before he leaves for work somewhere along the busy streets where the air of tension smells. That's me in future I think.

Sometimes I see sis and I all grown up in working suits, catching up in some coffee house in the mall after months of not seeing each other, my parents weren't anywhere in the pictures anymore.

There are also times when I see pictures of a kid who looks like me having fun with his sis and family, sometimes it's a picnic at the garden, sometimes at the river where we used to catch small fishes with hand held nets. Sometimes its at the play ground somewhere in lake garden, and other times, it just pop up and gone the next second replaced by other bits of happy moments. But no matter what, his sister is always there playing with him. =)

Hugging tight to the red big bolster, still trying to sleep, emotions stirred. Mixed. Slowly, I'll doze off and wake up to another afternoon with a pack of rice left on the dining table for my lunch.

The phone rang, I answered, changed, and off I go again and the cycle repeats.